you are in college
you are female
you have a pretty good idea of what you want to do with your life
you are short (under 5’4)
you text a lot
you are single, but like someone
you like a lot of different kinds of music
you are close with your mom
you don’t have a job
you have a horrible fear of bees
you have quite a few guilty pleasures
you don’t have many scars
you stay up late
you dye your hair
you enjoy iced coffee
you drink occasionally
you like to shop
your grades are fairly good
you are lazy
you are paranoid
you have a dog
you would consider going to law school
you would consider plastic surgery of some kind
you are somewhat superstitious
your first name is short (4 letters or less)
you have/had a piercing other than ears
you are not very athletic
you watch a lot of television
you read a lot
you get nervous easily
you have blue eyes
you are disorganized
you feel that you are friendly
you donate time or money to charitable organizations
you don’t hear very well
you are pale
you have a tumblr
people ask for your advice
& you also ask for advice a lot
you like sushi
you’ve been out of the country
you have a food allergy
you sleep with a stuffed animal
summer is your favorite season
your birthday is in the spring
your parents are divorced
you have moved multiple times
people think you are funny
but you have a weird sense of humor
you carry a purse
you think a lot
you seem shy, but only when you first meet someone
you like parties
something on your body hurts right now
you have a sensitive nose
you often have strange dreams
you are a bit on the hyper side
Steve Irwin in a Jaeger would be entertaining.
Look over there. There’s a Catergory 3 Kaiju. Biggest one yet.
Ah’m gonna wrassle with it.
And also jam his thumb up its butthole
Oh my god
Horse… that is all
The last one made me choke xD
reblogging because I just noticed HE’S NOT EVEN THROWING THE KNIVES
HE’S USING A PINGPONG PADDLE TOO
I love her expressions.
RUSSIANS. 8| The dude’s hot… who am I kidding, I’d bottom for the girl too. lol
So I don’t think those free condoms universities hand out suck as much as guys say they do.
Okay, but seriously. If you’re ever considering sexy times with a guy and he tells you that he can’t wear a condom there is a 100.3% chance that he is a liar, and you should definitely not have sex with him. Don’t have sex with liars. Have sex with a cute honest people that bring you ice cream the next morning. Liars do not bring you ice cream. And if they do it’s ice cream made of lies. Ice cream made of lies is very emotionally unfulfilling. Don’t trust liars or their disease-ridden ice cream.
that was the best safe-sex talk ever.
Why I am suspicious of those who say they got pregnant because a condom “broke”…
HAVE ANY OF YOU EVER USED A CONDOM. HAVE ANY OF YOU HAD SEX YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT CONDOMS. SHUT THE FUCK UP. I’m sick of this shit. Just because a condom has a tensile force high enough to withstand inflation does not mean it can comfortably fit any penis. No one wants latex literally stretched against a boner like it is in this pic. A condom that is too small causes added friction which can lead to the condom tearing. If someone tells you it is too small, you LISTEN. YOU DO NOT HAVE RAW SEX WITH THEM. THAT IS NOT WHAT I AM SAYING. YOU GO BUY A MAGNUM. There are even sizes above that. SO NO THERE IS NO EXCUSE TO SAY THAT A PERSON CANNOT WEAR ANY CONDOMS BUT THERE ARE PLENTY OF PEOPLE WHO DO NOT FIT IN CERTAIN SIZES. And whoever the fuck said they don’t believe condoms break is literally fucking stupid as hell. You didn’t even try to think you slut shaming ignorant ass. Condoms do not break from things not fitting in them. They break due to frictional forces without sufficient lubricant and air bubbles trapped in the reservoir tip that push through the latex upon ejaculation. Proper application requires that the tip be pinched to remove this air while it is rolled down the shaft. Very few people know this due to the rampant lack of appropriate sex ed. Proper condom application technique and education is crucial to effective birth control and STI protection. So before you go spouting your ignorant crap, how bout you think about your penised partner and the overall function of a condom and try to spread real education rather than shaming people.
thank you for this.
for the longest time, i thought there was something wrong with the way me and this guy i used to sleep with used condoms, that he maybe rolled them on wrong, that the condoms were somehow faulty, etc. (turns out, the condoms used were just too small and we pretty much only have one-size fits all condoms where i live.)
i have seen this same shit floating around in that post with a person rolling a condom over their hand and arm.
but really though, have you ever seen a penis with a too-small condom? it’s a fucking painful sight. you know when you make a fist with your hand and your knuckles turn white? that’s what happens to the glans and shaft. FUCKING OW. that is both painful and as the last commenter said, the condom has a high chance of breaking.
if you have a penis i suggest you try on different condoms to see which ones fit you the best before you go on and engage in (penetrative or oral) sex with another person.
AND SQUEEZE THE FUCKING CUM TRAP TIP.
Yeah that shit hurts like fuck ._.
YES CHILDREN EAT THE FLESH OF YOUR KIN
They totally would, ducks are known cannibals